Lyrics to Artificial Stupidity with stills from some music videos we made
   

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Truth or Dare
What did you think I came here for?
I'm feeling like a dowser stuck in a rainstorm.
I want to say something I know is true.
And I'd just say it, if I wasn't so confused.

I've got a scene that I'd like to share,
(Come on with me, this way...)
Where we're drinking Strawberry Crush, and playing truth or dare.
We climb up on the roof,
Your loose shoe reveals a naked heel,
And the only thing louder than the rush through the trees,
Is your father's sigh as he rakes up the leaves.

CHORUS:
It's hard to win at truth or dare.
(Oh, how do you win?)

It feels like I'm in a play.
I know what I want, but I don't dare to say.
Maybe I'm not talking to you;
I'm talking to the girl I never knew.
How did it happen, what's my line?
Is it: "nothing to lose"? 'Cause I lose every time.

CHORUS.

Typical Day









 

 

 

 

Yesterday, Jackie Chan was chasing Leonardo DiCaprio down the street. Leonardo went to John Cusack's house to hide. John wasn't there, but Kirsten Dunst was there watching Ozzy Osbourne on television. They didn't say anything.

Elsewhere in the city, Reese Witherspoon was drinking iced tea with Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder. The hot sun melted their ice cubes. Several tables over, Angelina Jolie was using Keanu Reeves as a punching bag, spilling food all over the ground.

From outside of the auditorium, Kevin Spacey heard Janeane Garofalo speaking at Will Smith's charity fundraiser. He made jokes to Gwyneth Paltrow who was accompanying him. they ran into Thora Birch who was getting acting lessons from Susan Sarandon. She said that she was getting ready for the Conan O'Brien show later that night.

all in all it was a pretty typical day around town

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all in all it was a pretty typical day around town (round)


Dear Friend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Did you get seven feet of snow?
I heard about it on the radio.
Did you have to go to work?
Did you get your coffee and go to work?

Let's pretend that we're lost at sea,
Bottle up words cryptographically.
'Cause we don't want to know what we're saying.
No, we don't want to know what we're saying.

If you change all my words around,
You'll see inspiration is an exhausted wound.
It's the message that I always send:
I don't need statistics when I've got friends.
No, I don't need statistics,
I don't need statistics.

A Hat That Fits
Breaking out of prison was easy,
'Cause there were no walls.
Listening to reason is easy,
'Cause, hey I don't care at all.

I should probably find a hat that fits;
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.
I never looked good in hats anyway.
You might think that I'm ok,
But I don't listen to anyone.
I'd rather fuck it up for myself.

Sometimes I can be angry,
It's just that I, I don't know who I am.
Letters of words of explanation
Seem to be possibly be unplanned.

I should probably find a hat that fits;
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.
My head's too big for hats anyway.
You might think that I'm ok,
But I don't listen to anyone.
We're all riding on lime carousels.

Too much time wasted on humors
Never cured anyone's past.
I always write around what I can't say,
Saving the hard questions for last.

The Bottle Works

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monkey Boy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am the monkey boy,
playing with my funky toys.
I've got things to destroy,
Like you.
Monkey, monkey, monkey.

Chance
Brown shoes make me want to dance
'Cross the chessboard on the floor.
When I say dance I mean romance;
I've got one leg out the door.

See, I don't need you.
I am the other half.
I've got everything I need,
Except what I don't have.

CHORUS:
It's all right, so what if I can't dance?
It's all wrong, so why not take a chance?

Did you watch me
When I shaved my legs tonight?
Saw you there (like I care),
I didn't put out the light.

So look under the rainbow
There's teeth in the sky.
I'm talking to the animals.
I am that guy.

CHORUS

I'm putting on my cufflinks,
Blew my nose.
Hope I slip and fall of that cliff
Wearing my fancy clothes.

'Cause I don't need the world,
And I certainly won't be missed.
Better to swim off into the distance
Before I forget this.

CHORUS
I'm by myself.
I'm by my side.
And wherever we go,
There's no place to hide.

Architeuthis
I went to sleep sober and woke up drunk. My head was pounding and I needed caffeine bad. So I set out on a quest for the largest cup of coffee I could find.

Put on my black wool jacket and got in the elevator.
The cable snapped and I fell 9 floors - landed on some terrorists hiding in the elevator shaft - they broke my fall. I stepped over their bodies on my way out the door

Went down the street to my local Starbucks and when I got there it was completely covered in water. The Frappaccino machine floated past me. The place smelled of coffee and seaweed. Something grabbed my leg and pulled me under the water. It was Architeuthis, the giant squid.

My life is real. So what’s the deal?
My life is real.

Architeuthis pulled me down through the water-covered streets of Chicago and into Lake Michigan, which had suddenly become brackish. The salty water entered my lungs and I passed out.

When I awoke I was in a cave. It had overhead fluorescent lighting. I sifted through the squid’s collection and found pieces of Skylab, broken star wars action figures, old 45s, mismatched socks and a stuffed raccoon with a radio inside

My life is real. So what’s the deal?
My life is real.

Every couple of hours, the squid would return and place its souvenirs on the shore next to me - a waterlogged laptop computer, an Ikea bookshelf, an old working speak and spell.

One time it even brought Liz Phair. She and I talked about populating our new home under the lake, but decided that a squid’s secret cave was no place to raise a child. So in the end we resigned ourselves to eternity.

Oh yeah. Worst of all. I never got my coffee.

My life is real. So what’s the deal?
My life is real. What’s the appeal?


Word Balloons

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




At any rate, as a matter of fact, besides, because, which is to say, see the thing is, nonetheless, indeed, all right, therefore, OK... for what it's worth, but then again, as I was saying, you know, anyway, anyhow, and in addition, well, um, yeah, clearly, so.

Pop all the word balloons.
Brilliant thoughts are coming soon.

Apathy

 


 


Plain to See
Oliver Black's in town.
Smearing his mind down Hanuman Avenue.
He thinks and he writes it down.
I tried the rain, now
I ride the train.

Writing what comes to mind.
'Cause there's nothing to say but, "There's nothing to say,"
And a word isn't much to find.
No time to crawl:
No crime too tall.

Oliver needs some change.
If you have faith in nothing then nothing will save you.
And feet never had much range.
It's plain to see:
It's sane to plea.

Everything finds a way.
At the last minute his train comes around.
Oh, Oliver marks the day.
His time is right.
His rhyme is tight.
It's plain to see:
It's sane to plea.

Needles and Pins
In this time of night
I'm feeling all right--
Not twisted, not broken--
And, to my delight,
Quite joyous for no reason--
Stolen, you see--
From the Board of Disillusion
And the Master Chimpanzee.

The dream was weasel,
(Weasel was blue)
And all the good times they had--

Needles and pins,
Needles and pins--
And all the moments so breathless,
Stuck into you.

Little boy Billy,
Seething and silly,
His hand won't follow
His lead;
The left one knows,
But the right she goes!
And his fingers, they start
To bleed--

Needles and pins,
Needles and pins.

And it won't be nearly so funny tomorrow.

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